


Raina Lilac Murphy

by 100xGrounder



Category: The 100
Genre: F/F, M/M, Teen Pregnancy, daughter - Freeform, father - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 09:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4955122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100xGrounder/pseuds/100xGrounder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Murphy as a father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Raina Lilac Murphy

“Raina Lilac Murphy”

 

Chapter One:

She was not a mistake.  
She was not a disappointment.  
She was not hated nor rejected nor ignored.  
She was Murphy’s daughter. Loved, cared for; spoiled you might say. You could almost say, she brought the life back into her father’s eyes. Born after a surprise that faltered the love of two young criminals and split them like two branches on a birch tree. At only three years old, Raina witnessed her mother suffering through an incurable illness that would eventually take her life and leave Murphy all alone to care for his daughter. He missed Raina’s mother, he wished, every day that she was there to tuck her in for bed, oversee bath-time, wipe away her tears when she got upset because she could never tie her shoes right. But not only for Raina, he wished her mother was there for him, too. To kiss him after scolding Raina and to tell him that “Everything will be alright” and “she still loves you.” To watch the news with him and drink coffee with him and marry him. Oh, how he wished he could’ve married her.  
His daughter, Raina Lilac Murphy was his only delight. She was girly, imaginative, always seeking attention from her loving father. She would eat mac’n’cheese every night if she could; Murphy grew to like the smell of the pasta cooking in the tiny kitchen while he watched Dora The Explorer with her.  
She was growing into such a beautiful young lady, graceful smile, soft, enchanting yet rebellious eyes. She craved warmth, adventure, family. Just like her mother. She looked so much like her mother. When she turned seven, she said: “I promise, Daddy, I’ll never make you cook macaroni ever, ever, ever again! Please just tell me about Mommy!” Murphy laughed with merriment and pain, fondness and regret. He didn’t like speaking of her, the subject always made his eyes water with lament.  
“She was beautiful.” He told her, his voice was quiet; calm and in the same way anxious. “She was so happy when she found out about you.” He recalled. He was so bewildered. When he found out, he was only nineteen. They weren’t a couple, they didn’t even like each other. It was a one-night stand built up by pity and hopelessness. He was horrified when she told him, he was sure she was, too. He thought, at first, that she might abort the baby. But, the light in her eyes. They just lit up like New York city, she was scared, nervous, happy, amazed. She told everyone, her hand never left her stomach, always caressing the infant-to-be.  
Murphy on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with the pregnancy. He didn’t speak to her. He didn’t acknowledge the tiny precious life glowing from within her. Anxious thoughts overwhelmed his dreams at night. What if the baby looks like me? He imagined. What if the baby looks like her? What if it hates me? Oh, God. He realized. What if it loves me? I can’t- He thought. I can’t be a dad. More tears added to a collection of memories in his mind. It would change his life.  
He had no idea how much, though. He had no idea how wonderful Raina would be.  
“What was Mommy’s name?” She asked.  
“Mommy’s name was always a wonder. A beauty. Something you could never stop repeating to yourself. Her name radiated personality and hope and passion.” He found her face, shining between memories in his mind.

*******  
When Raina turned thirteen, she came home, eyes dazed. Head floating in the clouds. She didn’t eat macaroni as much as she used to. She had stopped watching Dora. She watched weird stuff with vampires and ghosts, now. She was on the phone with Nyla and Carrie all day, fawning over “Brett”.  
When she was eighteen, Murphy, thirty-seven, it was Sean who asked her to Prom. It was Sean who was on the phone with her all night, instead of Nyla and the other one whos name Muphy could no longer recall. But it was Sean who Murphy so excitedly waited by the door for, on prom night, to scare the crap out of. To ask him if he really loved Raina. If he had any “plans” for the night. Meanwhile, Raina shot him looks of Back off! and Dad, you’re embarrassing me! But how could he resist doing so? How? It, honestly took all the fun out of being a parent . . . It had all passed by too, too quickly.  
As Raina, now called Lilac, by her friends, drove off to college and Murphy denied the tears welling up in his eyes, he looked in the mirror and found how much time had really passed him by. He was old, hairline shying away from his forehead. Ever so slightly, wrinkles formed at the corners of his eyes. His eyes, oh, his eyes, supported by bags and a dull look and always left shivers racing down his spine. Dark, navy blue irises, twisted with time-worn grief and hopelessness. Bloodshot awareness seeping through the smile he hides it all behind.  
It was about an hour since she’d left with her boyfriend, Nate and was half-way to Florida. He, suddenly heard a knock at the front door. Firm, loud. But not angry. He swung the big red door open and found Raina’s uncle standing in front of him.  
“Bellamy.” He said, shocked. “What brings you here.”  
“Has she left yet?” He asked, a proud paternalistic smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. “I just wanted to give her this.” Murphy noticed Bellamy’s hands were wrapped around a small present along with a bundle of flowers in his other hand. He was always dropping by to give her gifts. Between both Murphy and Bellamy spoiling her and all the boys in her school trying to date her, Raina was fully stocked with going away presents.  
“Uh, yeah,” He said. “She left a while ago, she’ll be an official college girl by six o’clock.” He said it with no feeling, no emotion, just blank words floating out of his mouth. His daughter was all set for life; a very successful life, might he add. But that would leave him all alone. Maybe he’d get a pet or something. Maybe he’d retire from being a salesman for baseball equipment and buy a beach house. Sit back and relax. He didn’t have a lot of money, though. It was getting harder for him to spoil his dear daughter without his usual customers. They only came in to see her, watch her grow up, witness such a beautiful smile. His clients left due to Raina’s lack of presence. No money, no business, no companionship. A dog might fix the last one. And maybe the first two.  
Murphy set that thought aside and gave up any hope that could’ve possibly been left.  
Bellamy looked well, healthy. Happy. He didn’t look a day over thirty. He had a son of his own, now and lived in a country house along with Clarke and their two German Shepards. He had horses and acres and acres of land to ride them. His life seemed almost perfect. And judging from the gift he bought Raina, he seemed quite wealthy, too.  
“The boys say hi,” Said Bellamy. But his only response with a half grunt from Murphy and a shoulder shrug. “Clarke misses you.” He tried again, voice high and hopeful.  
“Uh, yeah.” Murphy said, half paying attention, too lost in his own mind’s torturous memories. “Yeah, me too.”  
There was a long pause.  
Silence.  
More silence.  
Bellamy finally understood the complex look on his friend’s face.  
“Hey,” He said, laying a hand down on Murphy’s shoulder. “I understand what you’re going through. I miss O, too. We all do.” He encouraged him. “Things are going to get better, Murph. Just-” A deep breath. “Just don’t give up because--”  
“--That’s when everything changes.” Murphy said, knowing Bellamy’s words. Knowing the meaning behind them. Knowing it was exactly what Bellamy had said when he found out Murphy was the father of his sister baby. He hadn’t shouted or threatened. He gave him words of advice and now, now more than ever, Murphy needed these words. He needed them like a glass of water before each day has truly began and like a smile before every state of mourning it finally over. He needed these words for the future and for the past. And Bellamy, knowing all of this beforehand, exchanged a look of fondness and companionship with him.  
And finally. And finally.  
And finally things were okay.


End file.
